Pretty song + teaching doubts

My latest song obsession.

I'm in unfamiliar territory lately. What with my ward and my class, I'm not used to being in charge. I don't particularly like it. I'd rather just have a discussion group with people over beer, but instead I have to develop rubrics and grade people, and be a hardass about attendance, etc.  I don't make a very good policewoman.

My typical way of dealing with people is to sit back and observe and then decide how I'm going to act.  I'm not the greatest at asking for what I need. It seems strange that this would translate to a course, and that grading and all that crap would be easy, but it's not.

Another big challenge is my generally sensitive nature. One of the characteristics I like and dislike about myself is that I'm extremely sensitive. Sensitive to body language, expressions, comments, and innuendo.  Combine that with a very observant nature and I'm always trying to read the students for if they're getting it or not, or if they're enjoying themselves or bored or need a break or whatever.  I don't know what that line is of making sure they have a good time and getting the job done.

I can't be less sensitive - it's the nature of the beast. But perhaps I can find a way to cope with it. I accept that they're not all going to want to be there, they're not all going to attend, or participate, or even like me.  That I get...I just need to stop "collecting and analyzing data" when I look at their faces.  Or not stop, but do it less.

I'm so tired and overwhelmed right now.  Hopefully when I get back from my conference things will calm down a little bit.  I do appreciate the challenge and the novelty of teaching. It's apparent after 31 years that I need a lot of action and challenges to stay happy and engaged.  One thing I can say is that I'm definitely engaged right now. I'm so engaged in the work that I'm doing that normal things that I'd mull over just don't fit in after triage. Blessing or curse?

Damn it feels good

I mentioned that I did a couple of .12ds at Column recently, but I finished up a third at Donner today: Bronco.  The other ones were cool, but this one is a lot more meaningful. I worked it a bit last fall and fell at the top twice before it dumped snow.  Last Thursday I went to Donner for the first time since then, worked out the moves again, gave it another go, and vowed to come back.  Jackson and I were pretty lazy over the weekend (plus weekend crowds suck), so we went back up there today and I did it second go.

Total surprise, and it felt SO GOOD.  I haven't felt that good after a send in a long time!  Theres's something to be said for being attached to a route.  I was definitely attached to that one.

Another cool thing was that I did it in good style.  I fucked up a few things, hung in there, and then fired the crux.  It felt great.  And NOW (not after the sends at Column), I'm allowing myself to think "wow-I'm really fit right now."  Finally... a little bit of confidence.  I'll take it.  I'll also say this - endurance and ability to recover goes a long way.  I could completely get my heart rate down at every rest, and oh boy do I ever find rests.  Awesome.

New occurrences

So yesterday it occurred to me that I have three jobs. THREE. That's too many jobs. Granted, I don't have to work all three jobs every day, but at least every week.

1. Teaching (I had my first class Saturday)
2. Fish and Wildlife Service (winding down)
3. Graduate student/post-doctoral researcher.

Yes. I am busy. Hence the lack of blogging lately.

So far the teaching is going well, though of course it's too early to tell. The student seem excited and bright and engaged. I'm so informal that one thing I worry about is having them forget who's boss. Gotta be a bit more of a hard-ass I think.

Also I went into the field:

View Larger Map

Gmaps makes it difficult (or I haven't figured out how) to make the route go along dirt roads, but this is the general route.  It was AWESOME. I live for this shit. Meeting biologists and going to random out-of-the way places. Love love love.

Here are some photos:

 Hay Corral Spring on Lockes Ranch

 Crenichthys nevadae (Railroad Valley springfish)

 Lockes Ranch is adjacent to Black Rock Station (not the same as Black Rock City of Burning Man fame)

 Old ranch houses at Green Springs

 More Green Springs

 Railroad Valley springfish in tequila (I need to start bringing ethanol with me everywhere I go)

 We slaughter bass after they slaughter native fishes, then we inspect their stomachs to see what they are eating.

 Fish Creek Springs tui chub

 Shoshone Pond Natural Area, a reserve for the Pahrump poolfish.

 Catching the Pahrump poolfish in a tiny ditch.

Pahrump poolfish  - endangered.

In other news, for the required spray about rock climbing, I've finished two .12ds at Column of the Giants - Contortionist and Spin Doctor - in three weeks...hopefully the crag isn't soft and they are legit and I'm actually feeling fit.  We'll see. I started on a .13a called Hey Ladies that is pretty fun, but chossy and a bit scary (like most of the crag).  Just a couple more days up there, so hopefully I can finish it up before I start going to Donner to finish up some stuff.

Adorable!

I wrote my first email to my students and two have already responded. Check this out:

Wow I am so excited. I have always wanted to work with fish and help sustain them. I am 3 classes from graduation and I feel like I have been waiting my whole life to take this class. and another: Awesome!!! I'm so excited.  This is my first class that is actually toward my major and I'm oozing with enthusiasm. So cute, and it makes me pretty excited. I hope that I can be a good teacher! Oh yeah I sent my project. blah blah blah. I did it 2nd try 2nd day on, which just shows you that I was strong enough but totally botched it the previous like, 7 times.  wtf.

Column column column

I think this is probably one of my first summer sport-climbing seasons ever.  I've been going to Column of the Giants every weekend for the past month or so.  It's such a pile of choss.  It's a pile of choss sitting on a mountain of choss.  But it's OUR pile of choss, so that makes it fun!

It's even chossier than Jailhouse and Gold Wall.

I KNOW!

Damn the problem with not blogging very much is that a lot happens and I don't write about it.  Like my sampling trip to North Fork Cottonwood Creek.  And my very strange hookup with the random hippie guy in Mammoth.  And Ethan and Cuz staying over in Davis after going to a few grad school bbqs with me Thursday night.  They are both so adorable.  It's all good stuff and it's all worth a separate blog post.  Overall the trend has been fun + busy...which I'll take!

random hippie guy in NFCC

I seem to have a new optimism about the people I hang out with lately (and the people I'm meeting and people in general).  I hope that teaching my class (which starts the 20th!) doesn't bring me down.  I'm having fun riding this high as long as I can.

always looking for mushrooms. 

field clothes are so hot.

Now hopefully today I can send one of the three freakin' .12ds that I'm falling at the end of.  I need to finish some routes.

My minion is now my ward.

I've decided (with the help of Sunshie and Kristina) to change my jargon for my "minion" to my "ward". It seems far more appropriate.

Off to climb and go fishing!

Overload. Meltdown.

So rather than doing the productive things that I need to do, I am watching 6 Feet Under and playing Words with Friends.

For the first time in grad school I'm so overloaded that I feel a bit like I've shut down.  I'm trying to prepare for the class I'm teaching, which starts on Aug 23.  Then there's this whole slew of shit I have to do for that as well, like get a TB test, get a social security card, set up my email account and an online site for the course...

Then my minion apparently cannot be taught for some reason. I'm all out of ideas for why she can't do labwork.  She's been watched making reactions by several people, and still her results suck.  I'm completely vexed and out of ideas.

I had a job interview for a position in Las Vegas as a state biologist. It was over the phone but it went really well!  I have no idea what's going to happen, since I can't start until December of January due to teaching the class.

Forget about finishing my dissertation or the side project I've been trying to do....wow there was just a really moving scene in 6 Feet Under.  I'm so easily distracted.  I blame the internet.

Yeah...and there's the garden that needs to be watered, especially since my garden partner is in Mammoth for her field season.  Uuuggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so overloaded.

Time for some serious triage.  What to take care of first?