Sunday, February 28, 2010

Human evolution

 "I suspect in many ways humans are themselves "self-domesticated," and the protean nature of the selection regimes shaped by rapidly changing culture makes it more likely than not that we adapt through tweaking standing genetic variation."
- Gene Expression


Current Biology has a special review issue out now on global genetic history of Homo sapiens. I guarantee you that your favorite geographic area is covered (Africa, Oceania, south Asia, east Asia, Europe, and the Americas), and your favorite sex chromosome (i.e. X and Y are discussed).


I've cut and pasted the abstracts for my reference and your convenience.  Let me know if any of you actually read any of this stuff. If nothing else, click on the links and look at some of the rad-ass figures.


Open access - yay!


Archaeogenetics — Towards a ‘New Synthesis’?


It seems a timely moment to review human population history of the five continents as it emerges from recent archaeogenetic studies, as summarised in the reviews of this special issue of Current Biology. Has the ‘new synthesis’ — between genetics, archaeology and linguistics — arrived which I, perhaps incautiously, heralded a few years ago [1]? These highly informative reviews document, it seems to me, both achievement and uncertainty: the achievement relates to the remarkably consistent picture which has now emerged about the out-of-Africa emergence of our own species Homo sapiensand the initial peopling of the Earth. The uncertainty involves the application of archaeogenetics to the more recent, Holocene period, when most of the planet was already peopled — except much of Oceania — and sedentary, farming-based communities emerged. Here, it appears that much of our current understanding still depends on archaeological or, sometimes, linguistic evidence. And, with a few exceptions, the archaeogenetic evidence has not yet been assimilated into a genuine synthesis; but, let us begin with the good news.




The Evolution of Human Genetic and Phenotypic Variation in Africa

Africa is the birthplace of modern humans, and is the source of the geographic expansion of ancestral populations into other regions of the world. Indigenous Africans are characterized by high levels of genetic diversity within and between populations. The pattern of genetic variation in these populations has been shaped by demographic events occurring over the last 200,000 years. The dramatic variation in climate, diet, and exposure to infectious disease across the continent has also resulted in novel genetic and phenotypic adaptations in extant Africans. This review summarizes some recent advances in our understanding of the demographic history and selective pressures that have influenced levels and patterns of diversity in African populations.

A new timescale has recently been established for human mitochondrial DNA (mtDNA) lineages, making mtDNA at present the most informative genetic marker system for studying European prehistory. Here, we review the new chronology and compare mtDNA with Y-chromosome patterns, in order to summarize what we have learnt from archaeogenetics concerning five episodes over the past 50,000 years which significantly contributed to the settlement history of Europe: the pioneer colonisation of the Upper Palaeolithic, the Late Glacial re-colonisation of the continent from southern refugia after the Last Glacial Maximum, the postglacial re-colonization of deserted areas after the Younger Dryas cold snap, the arrival of Near Easterners with an incipient Neolithic package, and the small-scale migrations along continent-wide economic exchange networks beginning with the Copper Age. The available data from uniparental genetic systems have already transformed our view of the prehistory of Europe, but our knowledge of these processes remains limited. Nevertheless, their legacy remains as sedimentary layers in the gene pool of modern Europeans, and our understanding of them will improve substantially when more mtDNAs are completely sequenced, the Y chromosome more thoroughly analysed, and haplotype blocks of the autosomal genome become amenable to phylogeographic studies.

South Asia — comprising India, Pakistan, countries in the sub-Himalayan region and Myanmar — was one of the first geographical regions to have been peopled by modern humans. This region has served as a major route of dispersal to other geographical regions, including southeast Asia. The Indian society comprises tribal, ranked caste, and other populations that are largely endogamous. As a result of evolutionary antiquity and endogamy, populations of India show high genetic differentiation and extensive structuring. Linguistic differences of populations provide the best explanation of genetic differences observed in this region of the world. Within India, consistent with social history, extant populations inhabiting northern regions show closer affinities with Indo-European speaking populations of central Asia that those inhabiting southern regions. Extant southern Indian populations may have been derived from early colonizers arriving from Africa along the southern exit route. The higher-ranked caste populations, who were the torch-bearers of Hindu rituals, show closer affinities with central Asian, Indo-European speaking, populations.

East Asia encompasses a wide variety of environments, peoples, cultures and languages. Although this review focuses on East Asia, no geographic region can be considered in isolation in terms of human population history, and migrations to and from East Asia have had a major impact. Here, we review the following topics: the initial colonization of East Asia, the direction of migrations between southeast Asia and northern Asia, the genetic relationships of East Asian hunter-gatherers and the genetic impact of various social practices on East Asian populations. By necessity we focus on insights derived from mitochondrial DNA and/or Y-chromosome data; ongoing and future studies of genome-wide SNP or multi-locus re-sequencing data, combined with the use of simulation, model-based methods to infer demographic parameters, will undoubtedly provide additional insights into the population history of East Asia.

The human history of Oceania is unique in the way that it encompasses both the first out-of-Africa expansion of modern humans to New Guinea and Australia as well as the last regional human occupation of Polynesia. Other anthropological peculiarities of Oceania include features like the extraordinarily rich linguistic diversity especially of New Guinea with about 1,000 often very distinct languages, the independent and early development of agriculture in the highlands of New Guinea about 10,000 years ago, or the long-term isolation of the entire region from the outside world, which lasted as long as until the 1930s for most of the interior of New Guinea. This review will provide an overview on the genetic aspects of human population history of Oceania and how some of the anthropological peculiarities are reflected in human genetic data. Due to current data availability it will mostly focus on insights from sex-specifically inherited mitochondrial DNA and Y-chromosomal DNA, whereas more genome-wide autosomal DNA data are soon expected to add additional details or may correct views obtained from these two, albeit highly complex, genetic loci.

The Americas, the last continents to be entered by modern humans, were colonized during the late Pleistocene via a land bridge across what is now the Bering strait. However, the timing and nature of the initial colonization events remain contentious. The Asian origin of the earliest Americans has been amply established by numerous classical marker studies of the mid-twentieth century. More recently, mtDNA sequences, Y-chromosome and autosomal marker studies have provided a higher level of resolution in confirming the Asian origin of indigenous Americans and provided more precise time estimates for the emergence of Native Americans. But these data raise many additional questions regarding source populations, number and size of colonizing groups and the points of entry to the Americas. Rapidly accumulating molecular data from populations throughout the Americas, increased use of demographic models to test alternative colonization scenarios, and evaluation of the concordance of archaeological, paleoenvironmental and genetic data provide optimism for a fuller understanding of the initial colonization of the Americas.

There has long been interest in understanding the genetic basis of human adaptation. To what extent are phenotypic differences among human populations driven by natural selection? With the recent arrival of large genome-wide data sets on human variation, there is now unprecedented opportunity for progress on this type of question. Several lines of evidence argue for an important role of positive selection in shaping human variation and differences among populations. These include studies of comparative morphology and physiology, as well as population genetic studies of candidate loci and genome-wide data. However, the data also suggest that it is unusual for strong selection to drive new mutations rapidly to fixation in particular populations (the ‘hard sweep’ model). We argue, instead, for alternatives to the hard sweep model: in particular, polygenic adaptation could allow rapid adaptation while not producing classical signatures of selective sweeps. We close by discussing some of the likely opportunities for progress in the field.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Maladapive behavior is sexually selected?

I just thought of another angle on the death-defying sports line of thinking.

If, in the hypothetical scenario outlined in the previous post (death-defying, risk taking athlete has lots of progeny before dying), then maybe sexual selection is going on.

Think of the peacock. Its crazy flashy tail makes it far more likely to get picked off by a predator, so any male peacocks that survive must have higher fitness and produce higher quality offspring (according to female choice). There's debate about whether or not the male peacock is actually displaying anything of value (like fewer parasites, healthier sperm, whatever), or if he's just responding to some innate female choice preference.

Anyway, perhaps death defying athletes that actually survive and do well enough go gain prestige have superior fitness in some way, or they are simply taking advantage of the fact that women are social learners as well, programmed to be swayed by cultural prestige regardless of whether or not the athletes have superior fitness. Think of rock stars who do a bunch of drugs but have a ton of sex and have lots of kids all over the world. Rock stars might leave a lot more offspring, but only because of the "groupie" effect of female choice.

Eh. none of this shit is probably happening enough to really cause any kind of large-scale evolution in humans, but it's fun to think about. Then again, differences in gender must be adaptive somehow (males are stronger, bigger, have all kinds of weird social tests in many cultures to become "men", leaders and rulers having access to far more women...).

Gah. I should probably go to the primary literature and back up my ramblings. I'm probably wrong all over the place.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Maladaptive behavior

I had Vicken, Tim and John over to watch the Canada vs. Slovakia tonight, and Vicken admitted to me that he used my ex in a lecture.  I'm like "really?! what was it about?"  And he smiled and said "maladaptive behavior."

The idea is that environmental variability makes it adaptive for humans to use social learning. Individual learning is costly, so social learning is more adaptive (because of a lower cost). Why pay the cost of individual R and D when some jackass has already done it for you?

There are different mechanisms for how social learning works. For example you could copy from prestigious, successful individuals, which might make sense, or it might make you do stupid shit (evolutionarily-speaking, of course) like rock climb without a rope, because climbers who do crazy shit without a rope get prestige, and become successful (such as Bachar and Croft).

So the capacity for social learning is adaptive, but it opens you up to adopting specific behaviors that are not adaptive...["and then you die" - Vicken].

There are a ton of other examples, like delaying reproduction (which I'm guilty of...).  Of course to get around this fitness cost of free soloing (and dying, should that happen), you could have a bunch of kids and make sure they are taken care of, and then go off and climb wtihout a rope. Of course, if gaining prestige through doing anything at all gets you lots of sex and you spawn offspring all over the world, then I guess it's not so maladaptive.

Vicken has some recommended reading on the subject:

by Pete Richerson



Wet weather ain't so bad.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Science is cool.

I was right in criticizing the "smart atheists and liberals study"

Phew, I'm still decent at being critical.

Stop patting yourselves on the back.

I'm not sure I buy this, but it's interesting

From ScienceDaily. I think the title is a bit misleading, but it's interesting nonetheless. More intelligent people are more likely to adopt novel social values and religious and personal preferences, and the converse is sometimes true, that liberals and atheists (only one of many many novel social values/religious/political preferences) appear to be more intelligent (based on IQ).


Liberals and Atheists Smarter? Intelligent People Have Values Novel in Human Evolutionary History, Study Finds


It doen't say that those who adopt ANY novel social values are necessarily more intelligent though...

For example, fundamentalists are definitely outliers in their religions...from Jews to Mormons to Muslims.  Wouldn't we also say that they adopt "novel social values and religious and personal preferences?" Wouldn't their values also lie outside of society's preferences?

In addition, it makes me wonder about the past...would Lutherans and Calvinists and those who first protested the Catholic church also exhibit this behavior?

hmm.

this post isn't very well organized because i'm just waking up. BLarg.

In fact, the more I think about it the more I think it's kind of a load of crap (besides the author's hypothesis).  Something else is going on for sure.  Karrigan? help me out here.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Things I love right now.

1. James Franco...even in Milk (I know), but not in Spiderman.

2. Carnivorous plants...Check this out!
A pitcher plant has evolved to serve as a toilet for a shrew. No kidding.  Wow. Here's the photo from the linked article:


Also, they are lovely, and how can you not love something that turns the tables on typical predation dynamics?  I ask you, how can you?!

3. Shaun White - Completely adorable and lovable, yet a TOTAL BADASS.

4. Meyer lemons

No shit.

“In the study, husbands’ marital hostility was significantly related to increases in wives’ symptoms of depression,” said Proulx, assistant professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Studies in the College of Human Environmental Sciences.

“The more hostile and anti-social behavior exhibited by husbands, the more depressed their wives were after three years.

“These findings suggest that husbands’ treatment of their wives significantly impacts their psychological well-being and that hostile behavior has a lasting effect on couples that continues throughout their marriages.”

The researchers found no significant relationship between wives’ hostile behavior and husbands’ depression, unless significant life events, such as a death in the family or a job loss, were present.

Additionally, warm, positive behavior from husbands lessened the negative impact of their hostile behavior.

Anti-social behaviors are those that are self-centered, defiant or show a lack of constraint; hostile behaviors are those that are angry, critical or rejecting.

http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/02/23/husbands-hostility-spawns-depression/11635.html

Does this mean I can marry an antisocial, hostile man if I stay on the meds?

The effed up thing is that the reciprocal isn't true. What the heck?

Monday, February 22, 2010

Religious belief positively correlated with crime rates

Your ex lover is dead




I found a song about the connection between saying goodbye to someone and experiencing the death of a loved one. I've become a big big fan of the cold turkey approach (my friend Aaron said that breakups should be like a carrot and not like a stick of celery). Some time has passed - but not enough time like, ever...or forever or whenever or even never would be enough.

My sister died almost 9 years ago. Not enough time could ever go by for me to feel ok with Traci dying. I don't think about it as much, of course, but there are definitely times when I'd love to talk to her. When a person is gone, then they may as well be dead. Mercifully, the sudden death of my sister rather than a slow death via anorexia made it easier to deal with. I didn't have a choice, didn't have time to decide or fuck up. I remember feeling so selfish in the immediate aftermath. Maybe going cold turkey is a way of symbolically killing off the relationship rather than letting it continue to slowly die.

Obviously it's very very different in many ways, but the process of dealing and putting it behind you is similar. Letting go, grieving, regrets, responsibility...all of it. Hoping for different things, wanting to be a better person a better friend a better family member. Feeling sorry for myself...I was also pissed at Traci for being anorexic. What a waste of life it seemed. How could she do that to herself?

"When there's nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire."

Thursday, February 18, 2010

A few things I've been inspired by lately

I have a little bit of a backlog of links that I think are interesting that I want to post about, so here is a short list:

(By the way I'm watching a super exciting hockey game! Canada and Switzerland are doing the post-OT shootout. Whoa! I've got a bunch of adrenaline and I've never even watched a hockey game before.  It reminds me of spending summers and playing hockey with all the Canadians with Brent's hockey sticks.

The first is the sequencing of the full genomes of several Khoisan Africans. This is interesting because the genetic diversity within populations of Africans is greater than the genetic difference between a European and an Asian person.  Classic founder effect, due to migrations of Africans into Europe, thus reducing the amount of genetic diversity in the descendent European populations. The African populations have existed at high numbers for many more generations than the European populations, allowing mutations (and thus overall genetic diversity) to accumulate.

The second thing that was compelling to me is an article about why religion is such a common behavior in humans across cultures and time.  The question is whether religiousness confers some sort of selective advantage to humans (in other words, through history, humans that were religious produced more offspring and were more successful than those who were not), or whether something else was selected upon and religion is a byproduct of this other thing.  The article wasn't terribly explicit about what this other thing could have been, but it has to do with social cohesion, group living, and cooperation, in addition to feelings of guilt and fear about defecting from the group.

Here is a choice quote from the original article:
"Religion is a set of ideas that survives in cultural transmission because it effectively parasitizes other evolved cognitive structures."

Here is the link to the original article in Trends in Cognitive Sciences.

I'll be astounded if any of the few people who actually take a gander at this blog read through this stuff!  And of course, terribly impressed.

Also, this is super sad:

http://seedmagazine.com/slideshow/appetite_destruction/

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Utah in March!

My friend Joe and I are planning to meet up in Utah mid-March to do some climbing. We've put a bunch of destinations on the table: St. George, Joe's Valley, Indian Creek, Zion.  He wants to do Moonlight Buttress and Monkeyfinger.  Both are definitely way too hard for me, but he's psyched to lead most of it since it's "Golden Gate training."  Yessss.

For some reason the guy really likes to climb with me. He's definitely one of my favorite partners (except when he's tossing wobblers on the Free Blast, but hey, nobody is perfect...and it was SO amusing!).  So at any rate, I'm pretty psyched to climb with him. Plus he has a super cool dog.

I have to say that I'm a little more attracted to low-commitment climbing right now, such as sport climbing with fixed draws and bouldering, but Joe is one of the few people I'd agree to do Moonlight with, so I feel like I need to take advantage of the opportunity, even if I have to yard on gear the whole way.  It's just such a rad feature.

So I might not end up going to the red, unless I decide to take another week after Utah when Joe has to go back to Boulder.  I guess I could leave my car somewhere and fly to the red or something, but still it all depends on partners.

Besides the GI thing on the way home from Yosemite, it was a fun trip. Climbing with Katrina was a blast, and I got to see some folks I hadn't seen in a while. I finally met Spaz, and got to check out some of the park employee digs.  To top off the experience, I got to revisit the lovely dirt pile to sleep.  Ah Valley life.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

BLERrgggghhhaa

sick sick sick.  I was climbing in Camp 4 this morning and had kind of a stomach ache...I started to drive home around 3 or so and had to stop SIX TIMES to be sick.  Got home at 830.  Epic.

Food poisoning?  uuuuggghhhhhh...

I think I'm hungry but I'm not sure, and I'm afraid to eat anything.  EErrgghhh

Saturday, February 13, 2010

The cake monster, Yosemite, stuff.

I'm headed to the valley in an hour or so to meet up with my friend Katrina to boulder for the weekend.  Bouldering more in the gym and getting a bit stronger (or just remembering how to boulder) has made me more psyched to go outdoors.  Plus Gold Wall is probably wet and I don't want to drive to Bishop.

The original plan was to go to a gym or something on Saturday and then have a fuck-off bake-off at my house in honor of V-Day, but I decided that I'd rather go rock climbing.  Shocking.


So I made the recipe I'd had a crush on last night, rather than on Sunday: a pomegranate chocolate mousse cake, aka the Cake Monster (pictured above).  The recipe had no picture, and it turned out to be WAY bigger than I'd anticipated.  Four layers of chocolate cake with pomegranate syrup and pomegranate chocolate mousse filling, topped by pomegranate italian meringue buttercream (my first attempt at this frosting) and then doused in a pomegranate chocolate ganache.  It was damned good.  I went over to Bjorn and Lisa's last night for dinner/Olympic opening ceremony, and brought the monster. Fortunately a few other people were over there and I managed to have about half of the cake consumed.  I left it at Bjorn's house with care instructions and the hope that more of it will be gone by Monday when I return to pick up the monster.

Writing about things, for me, gets them out of my head.  If I am upset about something and I write about it, it goes away.  The demons get exorcised; it works.

Part of why I write about these difficult things is to get them out of my head, and another part is because maybe one of my friends is also feeling something similar. I think many of us don't talk about things that are hard for us. I know that for me, it makes me feel very very alone if I'm experiencing something painful. I've been told that I come off as "tough", which is not how I feel at all. Writing let's me explore the difficulties, the contradicting emotions, pain, joy, humor and sadness in a way that doesn't get explored through other avenues. I primarily write for myself, but I also write knowing that it will be read by a handful of people, and at the very least I want to be honest.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

How to turn Google Buzz off

So now that I'm not on Facebook, Google's attempt to hook me up to a bunch of extraneous information is somewhat of an annoyance.  I already contact my contacts when I want to, and I'm sure they contact me when they want to.  Not to mention the HUGE overlap with Googlereader.  I don't want to get "friends' shared items" and posts from blogs that I subscribe to in my Googlereader feed AND my email homepage. No thank you.

Anyway, if you too would like to stop buzzing, go to the bottom of the page in your gmail inbox, and click on "turn off buzz".  It's in very very tiny print.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Patching Pants



This is a picture of John's hands sewing my pants. I have had a stack of pants that either my bicycle ate or that Way Lake ate, and it's about time I fixed them.  I need to get an iron and finish patching a couple more pairs. I like fixing things.  It makes me happy. I should say that I took these with my new phone. I'm normally a bad photographer, but these are especially bad.


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Exorcising the demons!

So I've been pretty pissed at my ex lately. I haven't even had contact with him in a few weeks, or seen him or anything like that.  I've debated internally about whether or not to blog about it, since it is a public forum and whatnot.

I'm not really going to focus on him though, but on my anger in hopes that somehow it will go away more quickly and proceed into the "not caring" phase. I'm impatient that way.

I guess what they say about there being a thin line between love and hate is true. My love for him was pretty strong, and I suppose that it's not surprising that the anger is just as strong.

I have fantasies of him throwing himself off a cliff, or punching him in the face, or yelling at him, or writing really embarrassing things about him on the blog.  It doesn't take a genius to figure out that being this pissed is shortening my life and causing me unnecessary blood pressure rises. It's part of wanting the other party to feel some fraction of the pain that I feel. But in the end it really only matters how I feel, and I don't want to feel angry anymore. I want to feel nothing.

I just want to forget about it.  I think I need a really long time, which I beat myself up over...I mean, why can't I just be over it?  It seems that it would be far far easier if I were the kind of person who does not get attached.  It reminds me of this line from this movie "Love, Actually" where a father is talking to his son who's maybe 13 or so.  He knows something is wrong with his son and pries it out of him. When his son says "I'm in love", the father is totally relieved, and says "oh that's a relief, I thought it was something worse." and the son replies "Something worse than the total agony of love?"

So it has been agonizing. Not agonizing in the way it was after my first couple of breakups, but agonizing nonetheless.  The phrase "soul-crushing" comes to mind. I know all of these painful feelings are part of the process, and you have to sort of move through it and then a few months later you think to yourself "wow, I really feel better than I did a few months ago."  Fortunately I can already say that I feel much much better than I did after my trip to Spain. I was pretty destroyed after that.

The only thing that gives me any comfort (and sometimes when I get comforted by this I'm reminded of my mother being comforted by psychics, but hey, whatever works) is that if I can feel that strongly for someone, maybe I'm capable of having something really good in the future. I suppose it's not useful to beat up on myself for having feelings that I can't control. Feelings by definition aren't something that can be controlled...or at least not something that I can control with any consistency.

Maybe at some point they'll figure out the interaction between brain structure and neurochemical pathways and we will be able to control them. But right now I'm working with what I've got.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Photos from the past: part 3

Photos from a New Year's Day brunch I had at my house, and the blood orange tart I made last night

John and Mike


Dena posing next to a red velvet cake I made

Emily, Kevin and Vicken

blood orange tart - so pretty!


Photos from the past: part 2

Here is Part 2: some mushroom photos I took around the Davis greenbelt.






Photos from the past: part 1

I'm finally cleaning off my digital camera...so here's the first installment, from November:


A sunrise photo taken from the Furnace Creek Campground (Death Valley NP)


The Thanksgiving potluck!


Kevin wielding weapons, Phil wielding alcohol.

A discussion over mulled wine.

Kristy and James

The carcass

I made some pies. Pumpkin, apple and pecan.

A multi-generational feast!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

This made me laugh...hard

I'm sure that everyone here has received some sort of "X number of ways to make your life better" email from their family (usually these people are over 40). The most annoying thing about these forwards is that it's all about (as I interpret it) accepting the shit that happens to you (i.e. not making a change that maybe you NEED TO MAKE), and having faith in Baby Jesus.

That's why this made me laugh so much: (original link: http://www.kungfugrippe.com/post/374966576/zenzenzenzen)

  1. 43 Ways to Simplify your life:
  2. 1. Remove your doors
  3. 2. Eat half of each pet
  4. 3. Sit on a big, thick book
  5. 4. Something something keyring holder
  6. 5. Paint clocks cheery pink
  7. 6. Wear discarded food
  8. 7. Makebelieve girlfriend chair
  9. 8. Sleep in liquor cabinet
  10. 9. Embrace hug love hug meow meow
  11. 10. Small room to plan crimes
  12. 11. Hack your house key organizer
  13. 12. Mail a surprise toaster
  14. 13. Just stare more
  15. 14. Fourteen
  16. 15. Poke holes in paper things
  17. 16. Macrame shoelace tree
  18. 17. Scrapbook poop and pee
  19. 18. Euthanize even faster
  20. 19. Amputate favorite limb
  21. 20. Pencil shaving gallery
  22. 21. Immigrant coat rack
  23. 22. Shoebox of dangerous porn
  24. 23. Zen unicorn rainbow zen journal
  25. 24. Icepick to one good eye
  26. 25. Simplify fourteen harder
  27. 26. Aluminum foil swan cozy dryer
  28. 27. Smell your finger. All of it.
  29. 28. Resimplify your simplicity
  30. 29. Habitualize your zen
  31. 30. Remind your drapes, “I love you, Mrs. Textile”
  32. 31. Freeze your clutter
  33. 32. Couch fort dinner party
  34. 33. Nicene creed robot
  35. 34. Only sodomize things that forgive
  36. 35. Coaxial sweater vest
  37. 36. Transitive verb predicate clause
  38. 37. More crying but quieter
  39. 38. Inhaler nativity
  40. 39. Contact paper taxonomy binder
  41. 40. America’s Roast Beef: Yes, Sir
  42. 41. Breathe like no one’s dancing
  43. 42. Unbridled solo diaper play
  44. 43. Illuminated panty shrine
It reminds me of the story John told me where a woman was leaving the Coop in Davis and bit into a carrot and said "THIS CARROT IS NOT ORGANIC! ORGANIC CARROTS TASTE BETTER THAN THIS!"
The people at the Coop went into the back and opened up a box of organic carrots and let her taste one.  She said "well, the other organic carrots tasted better."

Saturday, February 6, 2010

WAKE UP



I'm a huge fan of Donnie Darko, so I loved this apparently non-photoshopped example of "light art".  Her is the original link: http://blogof.francescomugnai.com/2010/02/this-is-not-photoshop-50-incredible-examples-of-light-painting

Friday, February 5, 2010

dizzy spell

So my vision has been weird and I've been a bit dizzy or "out of it" (for lack of a better way to describe it) for a few days.  I'd like to think that I'm just fine, but the last time I thought I was just fine and needed a few rest days, I got diagnosed with MS.  It sucks.  Anyway, I can't even tell if I'm thinking about it more and making it up because now I've noticed it. I hate that shit.

Had dinner with a friend tonight, Happy Hour at Village Pizza for the GGE last night (free food, but god the service was terrible), and on Wednesday I went to Oakland to climb with Shannon...

On the way to the Oakland gym, I stopped by the Berkeley Bowl West and plundered their citrus section. I bought a bunch of Meyer lemons and blood oranges...I also made friends with the produce guy and got to sample a bunch of fruit.  Yessss.

So I made this: http://foodlibrarian.blogspot.com/2010/01/los-angeles-times-upside-down-meyer.html


And I want to make this: http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Blood-Orange-Tart-with-Orange-Caramel-Sauce-106137


I'm super psyched on citrus right now! And I have to say, the produce at the Berkeley Bowl is amazing.  They have an entire section devoted to different kinds of eggplants!

I'm craving another rest day tomorrow. I hope that the wonkiness in my brain will go away, but sadly I think it's permanent. har.  Trying to make light of these things.

More climbing on Sunday! Yeah! And then maybe some sort of superbowl get together where I don't actually watch the football but hang out with friends and maybe have a beer or two.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

On moving on.

I read this article today: http://seedmagazine.com/content/article/many_minds_one_story/ about Virginia Woolf and the possible mental illness that she had.  The article was pretty interesting, but two parts in particular caught my eye.


The first echos my sentiments about the nature of reality that I blogged about a little while ago (italics mine):


"Biology likewise confirms Woolf’s intuition that “reality,” a term she put in quotes, is contingent. We cannot know one another absolutely. “What solitary icebergs we are, Miss Vinrace! How little we can communicate!” says Richard Dalloway in The Voyage Out, while Terence Hewet is correct that “I say everything’s different. No two people are in the least the same.” Reality is subjective because the brain is not a passive antenna for “objective data” impinging on it, as people often suppose. Each brain actively pursues what interests it, filtering the world in its uniquely subjective way. Genes prime a life while experience in a given culture contextualizes it."


The author basically says what I said but way better...reality only exists in our minds, and if it's that subjective, then it isn't reality.  Case closed. Just kidding...


The second is regarding empathy, and the lack thereof in some people. I'm always trying to diagnose people who have no empathy...or at least figure out what is wrong with them...at least so I stop blaming myself. (Paranoids blame other people, depressives blame themselves...guess which I am?)


Here it is:
"She had what I would describe as a faulty theory of mind—a standard term describing a developing child’s ability to attribute mental states to others that depends on what are called “mirror neurons.” Though one cannot know others absolutely, once developed, our brains are good enough to infer what others might be thinking or feeling, allowing for empathy."


Maybe people with no empathy (who are sometimes sociopaths) simply are not wired properly neurologically. Who knows. Regardless of the reason, if someone has no empathy, is it wrong to be angry with them for being mean?  It's almost like being mad at the retarded kid down the street for acting like a retarded kid.  Can you blame them?  Can you be pissed? At any rate, it's not useful to blame myself, though I get pissed that I'm pissed in the first place, or that I let someone piss me off, or that I let someone continue to be mean.  I mean, isn't it my responsibility?  Should I expect anyone to give a shit about whether they hurt me or not?  Is that a basic expectation that you can have of everyman?  Seems so, but maybe it isn't. Maybe it's my responsibility to weed through the jerks and assholes in the world and make sure that I only spend energy on people who are kind.  If I expect everyone to be an asshole, then I'll be really psyched when they are not.  But I think that has gotten me into trouble before. I think that maybe I should switch to expecting people to be decent and kind and being disappointed when they aren't...I'm not sure.


Maybe the right path is the "middle path" (not to be too la-di-da), where I can forgive people for their weaknesses (much as I'd like to be forgiven for mine), and still protect myself by cutting off damaging and toxic relationships. And focus on putting effort in to the good relationships in my life; I've been reminded recently that there are many.


I suppose there's no right way to grope blindly through confusing interpersonal relationships...other than to continue to grope blindly and hope you grab onto something that you can hang on to. Sometimes it really does feel like chance. You can take all the initiative in the world and not get anywhere, or you can just sit and wait for things to happen. You can be super aware, super reflective, and still make mistakes.


All I can say is that I'm ready for good things to happen. I hope that I'm at least putting myself in a position for good things.  Shit happens, we get sick, friends and family can die or be hurt. I'm ready for good things.


And now to tack on the token climbing  paragraph of the day:


I went to the Berkeley gym and met up with Jason on Sunday...since he epic-ed with public transport meeting up with me, I climbed a little bit with Drew and Alice and got to chat with Rachel and Hallie.  Karl and Audrey showed up later, which was a treat. It had been so long since I'd seen them!  Also Weezie and Mick were there (who hopefully will go to the Red...yay!).  Afterwards Rachel and I went and had a chat and a burrito at Whole Foods.  I got a good workout in (though I was still worked from the fingerboard/pullup/crossfit workout I did with Shannon on Thursday (!)). Today I rode my bike for the first time in a while...I hate the way my neck gets so freakin' sore if I haven't ridden in a while. Tomorrow I'll head back to Oakland to boulder and then do some crossfit/hangboard stuff with Shannon. The weather has been a blessing because I've spent a lot of time with people I haven't seen in a while.  It's been really good.


Maybe Mission Cliffs on Saturday? I need to get my blanket back from Ethan who STOLE it from my house.  Who does that? Apparently he's holding it ransom for a Snuggie. I think I'll arrange a trade.


Also, thanks to everyone who has written personal emails to me regarding the blog. I'm always psyched for feedback, even though sometimes it helps to be more honest with my writing if I feel like I'm writing in a vacuum.  But I think it is good.


I'll end this post with another quote from the article that I liked but that I don't have much to say about. I just thought it was interesting:
"The idea that humans possess more than one mind, in a literal, physical sense, was first suggested in 1844 by Arthur Wigan. In The Duality of Mind, he described the autopsy of someone he knew well in which one brain hemisphere was discovered to be entirely missing! Wigan had wits enough to deduce that a single hemisphere was enough to be a person. It implied that the brain is not a single organ of two halves, but a closely apposed pair just as the kidneys or lungs are paired one to a side. Wigan concluded that if one hemisphere was sufficient to have a mind then the customary pair made having two minds inevitable. His astute observation suggested a physical basis for why it is ourselves with whom we are most often at odds and “can’t make up our minds.”"