Productivity slump

Back on my own for a few days, and trying to get things done. I seem to have fallen into a productivity slump, fueled by:

1. listening to this over and over, causing myself to spiral into a positive feedback vortex of sentimentality:


2. Having nothing but guest lecturers in my class, so not needing to actually prepare anything (though I do have to write an exam for Tuesday, and an exam review for Saturday...ugh.). I'm experiencing a serious lull in my interest in teaching this class. Semesters are SO LONG. Plus I feel like I have no grand plan for teaching the class...no general outline for the second half of the semester, and no idea what I want to actually teach. I feel like it's all a hodgepodge; I have no vision.

3. Downloading Ren and Stimpy digitally remastered classics (YES!)
Ren and Stimpy always reminds me of Traci, my sister. We both loved that show as kids. She even bought me themed bedroom slippers - one was Ren and one was Stimpy. I wish I still had them.

4. Getting jolted out of my routine by the stuff that I wrote about in the last post.  Indeed.

I wish I was a more adaptable person, or maybe I just need more shit that I HAVE to do RIGHT NOW.  My pupfish chapter is languishing in versions on my thumb drive. I've been reading papers to try to find a good "story" to tell...I just can't decide, but it needs to get done. I need to finish my PhD. I think I'm getting hung up on the details of the data analysis rather than thinking more broadly.

Is 3pm too early to start drinking?

Life revolution

Ok well revolution is probably a strong word, but a lot has happened in the last 2 weeks. I won't go into all of it here, as this is the internet and nothing is sacred, but I will say that things are good. I don't know how long it will stay good, but hopefully for more than another week.

I've been hanging out with someone who's given me some welcome new perspective on what I'm capable of, what I've been through, and what I want. I think he's probably in the same boat as me, which is good (you know, sharing a boat - makes paddling easier). We feel like we've been in an oxbow for the last week, but now it's probably time to get back into the current and move.

Ahh horrible metaphors - my special talent.

I've basically taken the last week off of work and gotten next to nothing done. So now I have some time to get my shit back together, but of course everything is different now. It's so much easier to stay in my little hobbit hole and not let anyone in - status quo is comfortable and easy. I have my list of things to rant about, my list of things that I do every week, every day. A not so subtle shift has kind of rocked my world.

And another note to say that I've realized that I have really protective friends, which is a good good feeling.  Considering my past taste in men has been...um...abysmal (and people just LOVE to tell me so; ha ha ha everyone), it's good for people to go out of their way to give me the thumbs up for a change.