Pretty song + teaching doubts

My latest song obsession.

I'm in unfamiliar territory lately. What with my ward and my class, I'm not used to being in charge. I don't particularly like it. I'd rather just have a discussion group with people over beer, but instead I have to develop rubrics and grade people, and be a hardass about attendance, etc.  I don't make a very good policewoman.

My typical way of dealing with people is to sit back and observe and then decide how I'm going to act.  I'm not the greatest at asking for what I need. It seems strange that this would translate to a course, and that grading and all that crap would be easy, but it's not.

Another big challenge is my generally sensitive nature. One of the characteristics I like and dislike about myself is that I'm extremely sensitive. Sensitive to body language, expressions, comments, and innuendo.  Combine that with a very observant nature and I'm always trying to read the students for if they're getting it or not, or if they're enjoying themselves or bored or need a break or whatever.  I don't know what that line is of making sure they have a good time and getting the job done.

I can't be less sensitive - it's the nature of the beast. But perhaps I can find a way to cope with it. I accept that they're not all going to want to be there, they're not all going to attend, or participate, or even like me.  That I get...I just need to stop "collecting and analyzing data" when I look at their faces.  Or not stop, but do it less.

I'm so tired and overwhelmed right now.  Hopefully when I get back from my conference things will calm down a little bit.  I do appreciate the challenge and the novelty of teaching. It's apparent after 31 years that I need a lot of action and challenges to stay happy and engaged.  One thing I can say is that I'm definitely engaged right now. I'm so engaged in the work that I'm doing that normal things that I'd mull over just don't fit in after triage. Blessing or curse?