Teaching is...interesting

I've been meaning to write down a few thoughts about my first-ever semester of teaching.  And since I'm beating the shit out of some whisky-flavored marshmallows and it takes about 20 minutes, I have time. Awesome.

So one of the things that I was surprised to realize is that the students pretty much make up 50% of the good and the bad of a class. When I was planning the course, since I had no idea what to expect, I imagined a group of automatons who would just sit there and listen, or students who would argue with me about evolution or grades or whatever. In other words, I expected the worst. However the students really made the experience fun. They were psyched, engaged, and I became fond of most of them. There were a few annoying folks, but I suppose that is to be expected. Even the annoying ones weren't so bad.

When I was giving the final and students were turning in their papers, several of them thanked me, wanted to shake my hand or even give me a hug. It was pretty awesome, and made it all seem worth it. They really did make the class what it was.

I also realized, as I was leaving the final and locking up the classroom for the last time this semester, that I almost always feel really good after teaching. Even if, on the drive from Davis to Carmichael I was dwelling on something or upset about something, I'd forget about it during class and just have fun interacting with the students. It was a pretty cool experience. It's also cool to think that now I have another marketable skill - teaching. I by no means think that I am a great teacher, but it's something that I can do if a job opportunity ever comes up, or I decide that I'd like to teach at a community college. It would be pretty awesome to have so many holidays, that's for sure!

Ok I'm back after a day. I had my first "Feast of the Seven fishes" at a friend's house. Dungeness, smoked salmon, smoked trout, lobster tails, shrimp and herring. Ok so that's six fishes, but who's counting? This is a good tradition (as long as you leave the religion out, which we did). The lobster was awesome! I naturally brought dessert - a vegan dark chocolate pomegranate cake. Apparently for folks with milk allergies, you can make ganache with soy milk and you'd never know the difference. Oh yeah and bourbon flavored marshmallows, which turned out really well.

Now I'm finishing up the best pecan pie recipe I've ever made (maple star-anise pecan pie) to take to the ranch. I feel a little guilty that my parents showed up yesterday and I chose to eat lobster rather than whatever weird food my weird aunt was going to serve...but fuck it-I'd always rather eat lobster.

Hueco memories + Neko Case

This song (the whole album in fact) reminds me of Hueco Tanks. I spent a month there about 7 years ago. My very good friend Kristina burned me the cd (back when we burned cds). We've been through a lot since then.

Off the album Blacklisted.

Still amazing, still makes me cry sometimes:

I suck at blogging

But it's because I'm really busy!

OK - I'm watching trashy tv - True Blood. It is gloriously trashy.

I just got back from Bishop last night, and had a great trip! Climbed with Crista and James...I LOVE climbing new things. I don't get to do that very much in the winter time...I'm chained to Jailhouse.

One of my students gave me pot fudge. I'd love to post this on FB, but it seems like a poor career move...so instead I'll put it on my blog which nobody reads.

I had a blitz of cookie making today - salted browned butter rice krispy treats, Christina Tosi's corn cookies, green tea shortbread, whisky caramel marshmallow and bacon bark, and gruyere and hazelnut crackers. It was a successful day all in all, and I hope the recipients enjoy everything!

I saw something new in the Bishop area - the red canyon and chidago petroglyphs. Plus I got to show Crista and James the pupfish - and they are still there, which is always a relief.

I'm hoping to go to Las Vegas for a week and a half after the New Year - I'm so excited about my new girl posse! Climbing with girls is the shit. I love it.

So that's the short version of the last month or so. Hopefully I'll get back to blogging regularly.

Order has been pepper-sprayed!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Spray It Forward
www.thedailyshow.com
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Jon Stewart does a pretty thorough job of excoriating UC Davis and the recent pepper sprayers across the country.  Better than I anticipated, and I was expecting a lot!

Back to one

It's been a while since I've posted - longer than usual. Same old stuff is happening, work, cooking, climbing... Winter is so grim. It gets dark so early! Depressing.

This week kinda sucked. My visitor took off (which was sad but right), my laptop died, my fridge died, my guest lecturer for my Tuesday night bailed on Monday night and I didn't have time to come up with anything new (I'd squandered movie day the Saturday before...oops), and UC Davis is in the news for the pepper spray incident (which really doesn't affect me that much, but my reaction to it is a little disturbing).

So the first way that I got wind of the pepper spray incident was when the Chancellor wrote an email...I just skimmed it (hadn't watched the viral video yet, though I'd seen it posted a bunch). At first I was like "why didn't the students move when they asked them to?" But then I watched the video, and I still had the "why didn't they move" reaction... but watching the dude pepper spray I was thinking "why did they have to use pepper spray? This seems really fucked up!". But then I though a little more and I thought "why did they have to move in the first place?" The best forum for protest, no matter how stupid you think the issue is (as long as it's not harming anyone) is the University.

I don't know...I'm a little ashamed that at first I wasn't as appalled as I feel like I should have been. It makes me worry that I'm becoming apathetic or desensitized to these things. I really should have felt more initial outrage. One thing that my visitor taught me is that I take a very measured approach to feeling things if I don't have confidence that I know what's really going on. I suppose it's part of the science background, but probably other things too. Who knows.

Career-wise life is great...other than I'm not motivated to do any real work. I ended up canceling class Tuesday rather than busting my ass to come up with something. I know I should have rallied and dealt, but knowing that I'm the boss and I could cancel class and had an out...I guess I just didn't.

Oh yeah and now I have to figure out if I'm going to move out of my house or buy it from my parents. I have to decide by June, which is a lot of time to think about it. I waffle back and forth. I have no debt right now, and assuming debt, even if my parents sell me the house for the cost of the mortgage, is daunting. I'll probably be in Davis another year at least (post-docing, and teaching at the community college)...but then what? I have no idea. I get stressed thinking about it. Being an adult sucks.

Productivity slump

Back on my own for a few days, and trying to get things done. I seem to have fallen into a productivity slump, fueled by:

1. listening to this over and over, causing myself to spiral into a positive feedback vortex of sentimentality:


2. Having nothing but guest lecturers in my class, so not needing to actually prepare anything (though I do have to write an exam for Tuesday, and an exam review for Saturday...ugh.). I'm experiencing a serious lull in my interest in teaching this class. Semesters are SO LONG. Plus I feel like I have no grand plan for teaching the class...no general outline for the second half of the semester, and no idea what I want to actually teach. I feel like it's all a hodgepodge; I have no vision.

3. Downloading Ren and Stimpy digitally remastered classics (YES!)
Ren and Stimpy always reminds me of Traci, my sister. We both loved that show as kids. She even bought me themed bedroom slippers - one was Ren and one was Stimpy. I wish I still had them.

4. Getting jolted out of my routine by the stuff that I wrote about in the last post.  Indeed.

I wish I was a more adaptable person, or maybe I just need more shit that I HAVE to do RIGHT NOW.  My pupfish chapter is languishing in versions on my thumb drive. I've been reading papers to try to find a good "story" to tell...I just can't decide, but it needs to get done. I need to finish my PhD. I think I'm getting hung up on the details of the data analysis rather than thinking more broadly.

Is 3pm too early to start drinking?

Life revolution

Ok well revolution is probably a strong word, but a lot has happened in the last 2 weeks. I won't go into all of it here, as this is the internet and nothing is sacred, but I will say that things are good. I don't know how long it will stay good, but hopefully for more than another week.

I've been hanging out with someone who's given me some welcome new perspective on what I'm capable of, what I've been through, and what I want. I think he's probably in the same boat as me, which is good (you know, sharing a boat - makes paddling easier). We feel like we've been in an oxbow for the last week, but now it's probably time to get back into the current and move.

Ahh horrible metaphors - my special talent.

I've basically taken the last week off of work and gotten next to nothing done. So now I have some time to get my shit back together, but of course everything is different now. It's so much easier to stay in my little hobbit hole and not let anyone in - status quo is comfortable and easy. I have my list of things to rant about, my list of things that I do every week, every day. A not so subtle shift has kind of rocked my world.

And another note to say that I've realized that I have really protective friends, which is a good good feeling.  Considering my past taste in men has been...um...abysmal (and people just LOVE to tell me so; ha ha ha everyone), it's good for people to go out of their way to give me the thumbs up for a change.