Narcissism

I read an interesting article on narcissism today and thought I'd share it. Being an athlete and hanging out with other athletes, sometimes full-time or professional, you run into a lot of this.  Science is also rife with narcissists. People are often at the top of any domain because they are narcissistic, so it has its benefits.  They are just terrible in any kind of relationship, friendship or otherwise. It's a classic trade-off. I need to get better at detecting it and making sure that I don't let toxic people get close. On the other hand, I don't really let anybody get close so maybe I shouldn't worry about this...

Is Narcissism a leadership trait?

This article only deals with workplace relationships, but the information is relevant to other areas. Narcissists can be extremely attractive:

Nevertheless, some narcissists are considered productive because of their ability to inspire others with their visionary and charismatic personalities that are effective in environments that call for strong leadership.

But I think that admiring these traits from afar is best. I have experienced this aspect vividly:

“When they are challenged or perceive competition, they often derogate and undermine anyone, even those closest to them, they perceive as threats (and unfortunately, they are vigilant in scanning for threats),” he explained.


It's not fun.


I think one of the first criteria I look for in any relationship is someone who looks me in the eye and asks "how are you" and listens.  Follow up questions are a bonus (it shows people are actually thinking about what you said). 


My advisor is an extraordinary leader, visionary and charismatic, and is far from being narcissistic.  It's been amazing working with him, and his example will carry over into my future.