"Like eating the whole pint of ice cream" as Ethan would say, "and yet I do it over and over and over again."
This was a mundane example, but I'm speaking of more um...emotionally challenging examples. I've been thinking about these things lately, and much more.
The 14th was the 10th anniversary of my sister's death. I didn't call my parents until the next day. The seem to be holding up rather well.
Teaching community college students has been an amazing experience so far. I'm not sure if it's something I'd like to do as my only profession. I think I'd feel stranded if my only community was other teachers and the students. Going to Seattle got me so fired up about science. I like teaching, but I think, like many things in my life, I could only be satisfied if it's a component of my life, and not my whole life.
I went to SF yesterday afternoon to hang out with Ethan, who's back for a couple of days. He had some crazy massage the day before, so he just hung out and belayed. What a guy! Then we got indian food at a restaurant in the Mission with a bunch of other people. It was awesome. I really like hanging out with his friends in SF. I'm a bit envious of his community there. Ethan is pretty young, but it's pretty impressive how mature he is in some ways. For example he's way better with people than I am. He can sit and chat with people in the gym, and be interested in what they have to say, far longer than I can tolerate. Not to mention that given he's a famous climber, people are always stopping to talk to him. His patience impresses me...it's never been something I've had in spades. I could learn a lot.
Got back around midnight and finally slept ok. It's been so warm at night that it's hard to sleep...the last couple of nights have been cooler, and I actually wake up refreshed, which is a nice feeling.
Going back to teaching, I'm learning so much about what makes people successful and what doesn't (at least in my small small world of school and academia). In generally I don't think of myself as particularly successful. Until I go and teach! Then I think "hey, I'm not doing so bad, and I know a thing or two." It's a nice feeling. That said, a lot of my students are really great. I think it's just that the general vibe is that people don't listen, have to ask things over and over, get confused easily, don't turn in things on time, show up late, or think I'm expecting too much. Sometimes it seems like some of them are just missing some basic life skills. It's not that they have a lack of knowledge, or are unable to learn, or don't know the right people - it's just that they don't know what to prioritize, be responsible or professional. I don't know. It's hard to put my finger on it.
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