I like this

from an article in Discover Magazine by Jared Diamond:

Commitment is incessantly urged upon us fin de siècle twentieth- century Americans. Commitment to our spouses, our children, and our careers is held to be virtuous; lack of commitment is a common criticism. Yet commitment should be seen as morally neutral. After all, what one is committed to might be either good or bad; commitment to a destructive relationship, an unsatisfying job, or alcoholism deserves no praise. Often, commitment can mean nothing more than an involvement that has outlived its original justification. All of us have at one time or another felt trapped by such a commitment, longing for a happier, though uncertain, state of existence but fearing the short-term pain required to reach it.Commitment is a big issue not only for us as individuals, but for us as a culture as well. All human societies have many apparently arbitrary practices that persist for centuries or even millennia--writing systems, counting systems, sets of number signs, and calendars, to name just a few examples. At one time there existed alternatives to the system that we eventually adopted. Were some of these alternatives better than others? Did we in fact end up committed to the best ones? Are our alphabets, decimal counting, Arabic numerals, and Gregorian calendar really superior to Chinese logograms, Babylonian base-60 counting, Roman numerals, and the Mayan calendar?

professional development

Haven't felt much like writing since I got back from Indian Creek.  I have a to-do list that's longer than I can ever remember it being, but mostly with little things that need to be done, like getting my car serviced, fixing my camera, etc. Stuff like that.

I hadn't climbed outside either since IC, and had only climbed in the gym 2x.  I got back after a 4 week absence and there were only, I think, 4 new lead routes at Pipeworks.  Demoralizing and depressing.  I really do enjoy climbing in the gym, but the enjoyment is dependent on the number of new routes to try.  I'm not much of a gym projecter...1-3 times max is the limit of my attention span.  So I've been riding my bike, doing spin classes and pilates classes.

Last weekend I went to SF for a day to check out the Cherry Blossom Festival parade.  We biked from the Mission to Japantown and back, and everything went fine up until we were headed to Dolores Park to drink beer in the afternoon.  My front tire got stuck in the transit rails and I went down pretty hard.  Mostly just a few bruises and a couple of scrapes, but I must have whacked my ankle, sprained it or something like that on the way down.  I could barely walk on Monday, so I went in and had an x-ray.  Fortunately, nothing is broken, so naturally I didn't rest it but a day or two.  It kinda still hurts.

This past weekend I went to the Valley to meet up with Joe to do some routes.  It was kind of epic finding a partner, so I was psyched to get in touch with the crusher.  We went to the cookie saturday, TRed Outer Limits to start, and then Joe tried the Cookie Monster to the top...I guess the 13C section is all chossy, dirty, and glued together.  He figured it out on his 2nd go, but painful tips made him less psyched to try to redpoint.  I tried Cookie Monster 2x.  There are two big moves on it.  I fell there both times.  Blah.  I should try to get a little more sport fitness, but I kind of just don't care.  Then Joe ran a lap on Crack a Go Go with his Freerider soulmate, Nick from SLC. Then a TR lap on Red Zinger, which I was hoping to do clean.  I made it thru the tips section and fell in the .5 offset splitter section.  I figured out a way to get around that section with a face foothold and a big move into the pod...hopefully I can remember what the hell I did.  

So beer and pizza and Joe convinced me to do Free Blast Sunday.  Joe wanted to do the friction slabs and make sure they were wired so that he could feel better about Freerider.  I wasn't terribly excited about it...I don't think that Free Blast is a super classic amazing and delightfully enjoyable route, but whatever.  In the end I decided to just pull on gear to do it quickly and support Joe, which actually made it significantly more enjoyable. Sadly, Joe whipped on the first slab pitch and threw an amazingly impressive wobbler, after which I had to make fun of him.  He took it well, but was rightly demoralized.  Guy can crush 5.13 crack onsight, but can't do an .11- valley friction slab.  I empathize, but it is kinda amusing.

Fernando and this other dude were behind us, which was kind of cool. I hadn't seen Fernando in a while, and he's always pretty psyched.  At the base they were talking about doing the Salathe in a push...but they were moving pretty slowly.  Joe and I were definitely moving more quickly.  We said they could pass, but they never really caught up.  Oh well...it was cool to chat with Fernando at a couple of the belays.

So yeah, I don't really like the Free blast that much.  Perhaps if I could waltz up a friction slab, I might enjoy it a bit more.  But it's always fucking windy, it's typically a cluster fuck with other parties, 200 feet of friction slab wears me down mentally, and my feet are always killing me by the end.  I think I prefer rock climbs with holds on them, or if there is going to be a friction slab, maybe something easier and single pitch, or better yet a v0 slab boulder problem.  Mind you, a DO-ABLE v0 boulder problem and not a sandbagged one.

Oh yeah - and the half dollar pitch really sucks.  That pitch is so lame.  I freed it following with a pack on and a shit load of gear, which I guess was productive.  But it still sucks, and I was NOT in my happy place when I was in that goddammed chimney.

In addition, words of advice: if you book a site in the pines and don't show up the first night, call or they will sell your site for the second night, despite taking your money.  Fortunately this nice group of RVers let me pull into their site and sleep in my car.  So in the end it worked out.  I just felt bad because I told Lyn and company that they could crash in my site.  oops.

Today I'm pretty sore, despite feeling good after we got down.  I think that if I'm really dehydrated throughout a day of climbing I end up a lot more sore than I would be if I had been drinking a lot of water.

And now I'm in my cubicle, fantasizing about gym climbing and other such low-commitment endeavors.  I think I might be over trad climbing for a little while.  It kinda hurts.  

I'm working on my "professional development", something my advisor informed me I need to do.  This coming Sunday I'm flying to Albuquerque for a conference (Western Division of the American Fisheries Society) for which I earned a travel grant of $600.  I'm going to be presenting some trout work, so it's gotten my ass in gear to write this manuscript as well.  It's definitely coming along, which makes me happy.

Frustration

I'm starting to get very frustrated at the difficulty in finding partners to go to Yosemite.  After a dream trip to Indian Creek where finding partners is never a problem, it sucks.

What the hell?  Why is it that hard?  When people go to Yosemite, unless they are bouldering, they usually have a plan.  People want to get shit done.  This is why sport climbing and climbing at Indian Creek are so amazing.  There is something for everyone at every wall.  

I would boulder, except that I sprained my ankle in a bike accident and don't want to land on pads.  I think routes would be ok.

And continuing on my rant: It's freakin' impossible to find people to train on routes with at Pipeworks.  Even if I could find someone, they haven't set any new routes in over a month.  I was gone for 4 weeks, came back to the gym and there were only 3-4 new lead routes.  And they're by Peter, who typically sets crap.  It's frustrating being back.

9 things rock climbing has taught me about life

This video is completely amazing.  Thanks Townsend for finding it!

I'm a complainer

I drove into Moab today because it was raining.  Upon arrival, naturally the rain stopped and the sun came out.  So I was thinking that everyone I'm camped with was probably climbing, and that I should have stayed to climb as well.

But honestly I don't really want to.  My hands hurt SO badly.  The thought of putting them in a crack makes me want to cry.  

The time when I need to be back in Davis is approaching.  Maybe this is part of my lack of motivation.  That combined with the pain of crack climbing.  

However I don't really want to go home.  The only people who I'd consider my friends in Davis, or in the Bay Area for that matter, are people who probably would never contact me if I didn't make an effort.  And I'm starting to get a little bitter about it.  I'm tired of being peoples' fucking charity case, or at least feeling like it.  Everyone has their own glorious lives.

I guess the weather and the inevitable return to "real life" has gotten me down.  And by being down, I don't feel like doing what I came here to do, which is climb.  

Is this what happens when we get older?  We just sort through all the crap and and put things into little piles of differing priorities?  I miss genuine people and people who aren't so fucking distracted all the time.  But we get older and we get/or get out of relationships, have obligations and need to make money in order to survive and have money to eat and live and maybe some extra in case we get sick or something fucked up happens, but we also need to be happy, and enjoy the moment and value our friends and respect our elders (even if they don't deserve it) and take care of ourselves and get enough sleep, but not so much that we miss out on what's going on and we can't be too straight edge, because then we're not "letting go" and getting outside of our "comfort zone" - but not too much! - everything in moderation.  Not to mention we have to be environmentally conscious, not drive too much, especially don't drive and SUV, be politically conscious, but not just about the US - be politically conscious about events around the world, eat right and turn off the lights when we aren't in the room.  It's a lot to take on.

So I suppose I can understand why I have to be the one to initiate hanging out.  Or maybe I just suck.

Way Rambo Part III

Only one climbing day since my last post.  

We went to Way Rambo yesterday, and I warmed up on the Cockometer, which I'd never done.  Then I TRed Slice and Dice Clean, tried to redpoint but slipped while pulling the roof.  Walked over to the right side and onsighted The Inhabitants, and thin hands changing corner crack.  After that I TRed The Hostess, which btw, is a RAD route!!!

I think I'm starting to be influenced by Tom's choice in routes: pick the ones that vary.  Splitters and corners get boring.  I do love the splitters and corners, but some of the varied routes are so WILD!!  The Hostess has a block start to a corner, then you traverse under a roof to another corner (this is the crux), and then you go up a varied corner to a short offwidth  section.  It's safe and fun and super cool.  I think it's safe to say, however, that I'm done with Way Rambo for a while.

I just got this in my inbox today.  When I first started going into the infusion center in Davis, I met Melanie.  She was upbeat and friendly, and I had plans to stay in touch with her, but I really never did.  In fact when I was in there getting my infusions, I kind of hoped that she wouldn't show up, because she was always talking about these crazy treatments, and it was just so hard.  Anyway, I feel horrible about not putting more effort into the friendship.  I'm sitting here in the coffee shop with tears streaming down my face like an idiot.

Hi Mandi,

   I hope that you don't think this is weird.  I don't know you but Melanie would speak of you and the struggles that you both were enduring.  I thought that you should know and maybe you do already, that Melanie passed away on February 21st.  She was such a fighter.  The cancer had spread to her brain in December.  She had radiation for 2 weeks and had to be off chemo for that time.  After completing radiation, she had a scan that showed her lung tumors had grown larger, with one measuring 9 cm.  Melanie went back on chemo but it had little effect.  She began to have pain in her lower back from the cancer in her spine which we couldn't control very well with pills.  Her doctor decided that we needed to just keep her comfortable and took her off chemo.  She was put on a morphine drip in early February which gave her the ability to somewhat control the pain.  Over a period of a couple of weeks we had to keep increasing the dose to keep her comfortable.  At 6:35 am on Saturday morning she took her final breath on this earth. 

   We had a beautiful Memorial service for Melanie on Saturday, March 7th.   The kids are doing as well as can be expected.  I will miss her.  She was my best friend.

   Thank you for your friendship and support.

Take care of yourself,

Kevin Gibbs