An open letter to Acme Syringe

Dear Acme Syringe Company:

I am writing to tell you that I have used your syringes for years, and I would like to ask you for a syringe sponsorship.  I believe that I have excellent qualifications, and I will be a good representative of your company.  A far better representative than the folks who abuse your syringes and use them multiple times to inject illegal substances.  Attached is my syringe resume:

Allergies

One round of allergy shots 1x a week for 3 years

One round of 2 allergy shots 2x a week for another 3 years

4 skin tests, with about 60 needle pricks each (back and forearms)

Multiple Sclerosis (this is where it gets exciting)

Innumerable blood draws

almost 25 days of infusion with Solu-Medrol and IVIG

spinal tap (this one requires several little needles for numbing and a few BIG needles for drawing cerebro-spinal fluid

injections if interferon every other day forever and ever

B12 shot

Thyroid 

biopsy with several needles

more blood draw

Diabetes

I don't have diabetes, but I would definitely use your syringes if I were to get it.

Thank you so much for your time to consider my request.  Please feel free to contact me with any questions or comments.

Sincerely,

Mandi

ps:  I can definitely get you lots of photos of me wearing a sports bra in extreme locations using your syringes.